Oh smeg! Another way to get drunk!
How to Play
Put on a series of Red Dwarf (the game is best played with a number of back to back episodes) and take a drink for each one of the following situations:
Lister
- He has a lager
- He mentions Kristine Kochanski
- He refers to an old lover (double if he does this especially to make Rimmer feel bad)
- He plays his guitar (or threatens to)
- A reference is made to any of his undergarments
- He is seen eating a curry (or other Indian Food)
- A joke is made by any other character about him not being human (or being barely human)
- He enters an artificial reality computer game – double if he does so to have sex
Rimmer
- Someone insults him
- He insults someone back (or just insults them anyway)
- He does something mean to someone else
- An embarrassing fact exposed about him (e.g. his middle name)
- He mentions one of his dull hobbies or interests (e.g. 20th century telegraph poles)
- He whinges about being dead (this applies mostly to series I and II)
- He shows his love of military battles or mentions a great general
- He quotes (or misquotes) a Space Corp Directive
- He thinks that aliens exist or even are nearby
Ace Rimmer
- He says: “Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast!”
- Anyone says “What a guy!” about him
- Ace calls Lister “Skipper”
Holly
- He/she uses a pop culture word, like “Dude” and “Oi!”
- He/she has troubles with numbers or just with counting
- He/she says something stupid (this rule can be dangerous…)
- He/she has to explain something to someone
- He/she pulls a prank on anyone
- One for every reference to his/her IQ, or lack of
- He/she actually does something right
- His/her head appears on something other than a TV screen on a wall. (e.g. Lister’s watch, Kryten’s stomach)
Kryten
- He is seen ironing, cooking or doing the laundry
- He enters a mode, such as “smug mode”, “lie mode”, etc
- He corrects a Space Corp Directive quoted by Rimmer
- His head is described (e.g. “amusingly shaped ice-cube”)
- He has to explain something to someone
- One per each add-on appliance that he can attach mentioned (or seen) Double if he mentions an accident with his groinal socket or groinal attachment.
- Drink for each “old android saying”
- He offers to kill himself for doing something stupid or as a sacrifice to save the crew
- He speaks something in binary or hex (e.g. 001100111)
Cat
- He mentions his favourite pastimes (like: sex, food, sleep, etc.)
- He refers to Lister and Rimmer as “monkeys” (First Series)
- He mentions an “old cat saying”
- He goes “Aaaooooww!” (you know what I mean)
- He praises his own good looks – double if he claims to be centre of the universe
- He wants to go out with any woman (Wilma Flintstone, Simulant, whoever)
- He has a costume change
- He ‘smells’ something, or his sense of smell is referred to by another crew member – double if he says his nostril hairs are vibrating
- Duane Dibbley shows up
Kochanski
- She is sarcastic or makes a snooty comment
- She complains about Lister’s habits
- She complains about being in a parallel universe
- She complains about the food
- Lister tries to make a pass at her or flirt and is cut dead
- She is seen wearing that tight red rubber outfit
- She demonstrates how spoilt she is
- Cat calls her “officer-bud-babe”
- She refers to “Her Dave”
Skutters
- They annoy Rimmer – double if they do the “hand” signal they specially reserve for him
- One drink per each Skutter seen (Quite dangerous sometimes… e.g. “Parallel Universe”)
- They play Indians and Cowboys or prove that they are John Wayne fans
Talkie Toaster
- It offers anyone a slice of toast
- It offers any other type of toasted product
- It offers an opinion on something
Polymorph
- Take a drink each time a member of the crew has a false alarm about what/where the polymorph is – double when they don’t notice it and it’s right under their noses
- One drink for each thing it transforms into, whether its a disgusting and/or salivating monster, or a cute furry animal or toy
General
- Sing and drink continually when the theme song is played or heard in the background; yes, this can include the credits
- Always cheer then drink when they say Red Dwarf
- Drink when they send up/parody something from another sci-fi show; double if they’re spoofing any Star Trek
- Have drink for each hostile entity they meet that probably wants to kill them (should be some almost every episode); have another if the hostile entity can’t shoot straight, allowing the crew to survive against impossible odds
- Drink if something gross happens. (Applies mostly to Lister)
- Drink whenever anyone sings; this applies to “I’m gonna eat you little fishie” and even the “Ohm” song
- Drink if something weird happens
- One drink for every mention of a small, furry animal or a kipper
- A Drink for each reference made to the Danish moron (or even just plain old “Petersen”)
- Drink whenever they crash Starbug
- Have a drink when there is a mention of a practical joked played on someone or one is done to someone; double if done to Rimmer
- Drink when someone spots a continuity error.
- Lemming Rule (optional): One drink per “smeg”, “smegging”, ” smeghead” etc