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Red Dwarf Drinking Game

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Oh smeg! Another way to get drunk!

How to Play

Put on a series of Red Dwarf (the game is best played with a number of back to back episodes) and take a drink for each one of the following situations:


  • He has a lager
  • He mentions Kristine Kochanski
  • He refers to an old lover (double if he does this especially to make Rimmer feel bad)
  • He plays his guitar (or threatens to)
  • A reference is made to any of his undergarments
  • He is seen eating a curry (or other Indian Food)
  • A joke is made by any other character about him not being human (or being barely human)
  • He enters an artificial reality computer game – double if he does so to have sex


  • Someone insults him
  • He insults someone back (or just insults them anyway)
  • He does something mean to someone else
  • An embarrassing fact exposed about him (e.g. his middle name)
  • He mentions one of his dull hobbies or interests (e.g. 20th century telegraph poles)
  • He whinges about being dead (this applies mostly to series I and II)
  • He shows his love of military battles or mentions a great general
  • He quotes (or misquotes) a Space Corp Directive
  • He thinks that aliens exist or even are nearby

Ace Rimmer

  • He says: “Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast!”
  • Anyone says “What a guy!” about him
  • Ace calls Lister “Skipper”


  • He/she uses a pop culture word, like “Dude” and “Oi!”
  • He/she has troubles with numbers or just with counting
  • He/she says something stupid (this rule can be dangerous…)
  • He/she has to explain something to someone
  • He/she pulls a prank on anyone
  • One for every reference to his/her IQ, or lack of
  • He/she actually does something right
  • His/her head appears on something other than a TV screen on a wall. (e.g. Lister’s watch, Kryten’s stomach)


  • He is seen ironing, cooking or doing the laundry
  • He enters a mode, such as “smug mode”, “lie mode”, etc
  • He corrects a Space Corp Directive quoted by Rimmer
  • His head is described (e.g. “amusingly shaped ice-cube”)
  • He has to explain something to someone
  • One per each add-on appliance that he can attach mentioned (or seen) Double if he mentions an accident with his groinal socket or groinal attachment.
  • Drink for each “old android saying”
  • He offers to kill himself for doing something stupid or as a sacrifice to save the crew
  • He speaks something in binary or hex (e.g. 001100111)


  • He mentions his favourite pastimes (like: sex, food, sleep, etc.)
  • He refers to Lister and Rimmer as “monkeys” (First Series)
  • He mentions an “old cat saying”
  • He goes “Aaaooooww!” (you know what I mean)
  • He praises his own good looks – double if he claims to be centre of the universe
  • He wants to go out with any woman (Wilma Flintstone, Simulant, whoever)
  • He has a costume change
  • He ‘smells’ something, or his sense of smell is referred to by another crew member – double if he says his nostril hairs are vibrating
  • Duane Dibbley shows up


  • She is sarcastic or makes a snooty comment
  • She complains about Lister’s habits
  • She complains about being in a parallel universe
  • She complains about the food
  • Lister tries to make a pass at her or flirt and is cut dead
  • She is seen wearing that tight red rubber outfit
  • She demonstrates how spoilt she is
  • Cat calls her “officer-bud-babe”
  • She refers to “Her Dave”


  • They annoy Rimmer – double if they do the “hand” signal they specially reserve for him
  • One drink per each Skutter seen (Quite dangerous sometimes… e.g. “Parallel Universe”)
  • They play Indians and Cowboys or prove that they are John Wayne fans

Talkie Toaster

  • It offers anyone a slice of toast
  • It offers any other type of toasted product
  • It offers an opinion on something


  • Take a drink each time a member of the crew has a false alarm about what/where the polymorph is – double when they don’t notice it and it’s right under their noses
  • One drink for each thing it transforms into, whether its a disgusting and/or salivating monster, or a cute furry animal or toy


  • Sing and drink continually when the theme song is played or heard in the background; yes, this can include the credits
  • Always cheer then drink when they say Red Dwarf
  • Drink when they send up/parody something from another sci-fi show; double if they’re spoofing any Star Trek
  • Have drink for each hostile entity they meet that probably wants to kill them (should be some almost every episode); have another if the hostile entity can’t shoot straight, allowing the crew to survive against impossible odds
  • Drink if something gross happens. (Applies mostly to Lister)
  • Drink whenever anyone sings; this applies to “I’m gonna eat you little fishie” and even the “Ohm” song
  • Drink if something weird happens
  • One drink for every mention of a small, furry animal or a kipper
  • A Drink for each reference made to the Danish moron (or even just plain old “Petersen”)
  • Drink whenever they crash Starbug
  • Have a drink when there is a mention of a practical joked played on someone or one is done to someone; double if done to Rimmer
  • Drink when someone spots a continuity error.
  • Lemming Rule (optional): One drink per “smeg”, “smegging”, ” smeghead” etc
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